KISSING IN INDIA

I teach Public speaking occasionally. I am often asked for some tips to be a good speaker by those who wish to learn this craft but are unwilling to pay for it—a common trait . I give them a few tips but none I believe is as juicy as this tip—KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID or even more juicily KISS. This can be and is applied to many walks of life.
Having taught the world the virtues of simplicity we have now modernized its usage and in the process taken this concept to heights that our ancient Rishis and Munis never ever envisaged.
Here is how we now practice this ancient adage.
Do you disapprove of one single sentence in a two thousand page book? Don’t bother to refute it with a public statement or by a counter–article or book backed by credible research. Just do something SIMPLE—call for a ban on the book, burn copies of the book in the most crowded square in town , call for a bandh, disrupt traffic ,disallow the movement of even ambulances carrying the critically ill, burn the library where the author did his research , never mind the priceless manuscripts stored there.
Want to select the President of India or any high political official? Don’t bother to engage the candidates in meaningful debate. Avoid the interminable process adopted by the Americans in choosing their Presidents—caucuses, primaries, TV discussions, public grilling of candidates on serious issues. All this is too complicated. Be SIMPLE. Just ask the top party leader or leader of the coalition what he or she desires and his or her choice becomes the nation’s choice. Ask the resident of Rashtrapati Bhavan which method she approves.
Unable to find a desk job? Don’t bother to ask yourself such existential questions like– What are my educational attainments ,what skills can I offer. Take the SIMPLE route. Just bash up people from other states who are toiling hard to make ends meet. Do you doubt my advice? Ask the Shiv Sena that has mastered this art.
When life presents its inevitable problems just don’t bother to introspect.Keep it SIMPLE. Just blame it on bad luck or God’s will or even better, tell everyone that the one who succeeded used ‘ influence’ or benefited from his caste or community allegiance. Thereafter rush to some favored temple and ask God for favors. When you finally get whatever you desired tell others that it was your ‘ brilliance’ that got you the prize.
When you meet someone, immediately proceed to evaluate him since you find it impossible to avoid being judgmental. Evaluating someone calls for watching him over a period of time without being subjective.. It also calls for accepting that different people have perceptions and values different from yours.. But all this is too complicated .Just make it SIMPLE. Tactfully find out which community he ‘ belongs’ to. Thereafter the matter is simple. If he is a north Indian and you are from the south you can confidently say that your friend is uncouth. undisciplined and culturally challenged. On the other hand if you are from the North and he is from the south you can safely say that he is a ‘ madrassi’ who is conservative, poorly dressed, unsophisticated, cannot speak English the ‘ right’ way, is obsessed with Rajnikant who for the life of you is terribly dark complexioned. So how can he an actor?

I can go on and on. But I believe in another PROVERB familiar to top public speakers other than politicians..

KEEP IT SHORT STUPID [OR KISS]

K.R.RAVI