Advantage of Suicide.

Our people especially Netas are in a constant search of status symbols. This may be called a 3rd world mentality. In the years immediately after independence leaders sought ways to downplay their status and tried to be as simple as possible influenced by Mahatma Gandhi.

But after that, all pretences to simplicity were discarded. Politicians became more ‘honest’ in displaying their desire for status and began a race to show off their status by a variety of means. This trend has been going to this day.

This has in recent days been carried to absurd lengths, but more about this later. In recent years we have seen a few interesting ways in which Netas display their status.

One method is to get a crony to stage a fake attack on the neta in order to be eligible for Z class security. In fact our political class is so concerned with each others’ health that the government these days says that netas may be spared the time and effort to stage an encounter. It will suffice if a latter threatening an attack is submitted. Specimens of a government approved letter are available at any government office.

This new simplified well meaning procedure has been resisted by any leaders. The ‘attack’ gets much coverage by a media that is desperate for a ‘scoop’. The media too has objected to the simplified procedure.

As the man moves up in the hierarchy he will demand and get more security, more motorcycle outriders and a laal batthi on his car. He will consider himself successful when he is given exemption from security checks in airports including at New York!

At some stage the man gets bored with this and attempts to get a statue or two installed with his face benignly peering at the crowds below not counting the number of crows doing their two bits to adorn the head of the neta.

This I believe was started in Tamilnadu where many Chief Ministers can see at least a dozen statues of many Tamil heroes in the tamil pantheon as he or she drives from the residence to the office.

I learn from my detective friend Alphonso that one particular CM had the habit of bowing before every statue as a mark of respect, never mind if it was his own statue.

When a newspaper dared to point out this ridiculous act the CM never at a loss for words recited a poem that said that self respect was important too!

When the media persisted in ridiculing this act of ‘self respect’ the Dy. CM did a smart thing — He cleverly got the CM’s eye doctor to advise the CM to always wear dark glasses even at mid night to protect his failing eyes and get the car windows laminated with the darkest of colours. Thereafter the CM could not see the statues!

When the CM suspected something mischievous he asked the Dy. CM for an explanation. ‘Saaaaaaaaaar the dark colour of your glasses and your paan stained red lips remind people of our party flag.. Long live our party!”

Now the CM of UP Mayawati has taken up this precedent with several statues including of herself to be installed at a total cost exceeding Rs 2000 crores. This move has been attacked by many but has the wholehearted approval of birds.

Meanwhile in Delhi the status symbol of samadhis that started after Independence continues with gusto. The Nehru family is the best at this. I did some research on this subject of samadhis.

I stood outside the Kennedy Samadhi [cemetery] in Arlington not far from where I live. Over 65 vigils outside the cemetery over 6 months I met many Indian families and asked them the following questions.

[1] which part of India do you belong to?

[2] have you been to or do you belong to New Delhi?

[3] if you belong to or have been to New Delhi, have you visited the Samadhi of any one leader?

Here are my findings–

[1]TOTAL NUMBER OF FAMILIES INTERVIEWED - 463

[2]NUMBER OF FAMILIES HAILING FOM NEW DELHI - 145

[3]NUMBER HAILING FROM REST OF INDIA - 318

[4]NUMBER FROM [2[ WHO HAVE VISITED ANY SAMADHI IN DELHI - 6

[5]NUMBER FROM [3]WHO HAVE VISITED ANY SAMADHI IN DELHI - 25

My conclusion is that we are very keen to visit Kennedy Samadhi but not that keen to visit any Indian leaders’ samdhi! I have sent this research report to many Netas! Alphonso tells me that our netas are now demanding that there ought to be an Indo-US deal which will allow Indian netas to have their samadhis in Arlington. Obama will have to take a call on that soon.

Now a new trend has emerged in what counts as a status symbol in the political class. The symbol is – hold your breath — how many people committed suicide after the neta’s death! Can’t believe it?

Just see the war of words that has erupted in Andhra Pradesh after the death of the late CM Rajsekhar Reddy. In the two days after his death in a copter crash reports tell us that over 600 people committed suicide or died due to shock at the death of the leader. This was submitted to the High Command of the Congress party by party members who felt that this was an indication that public wanted the late CM’s son Jagan as the next CM!

I had written a blog on this absurd spectacle of suicides by two my mind, weak minded people. I had received a barrage of responses some of which suggested that these people had already decided to commit suicide and took advantage of the CM’s death. Apparently the deceased expected that the Congress party would provide some money to the family as a token of gratitude for the martyr.

But now comes the twist. A congressman who does not support Jagan says that the suicide and death figures are cooked up and any suicide or any hear attack victim was mischievously classified as the effect of Rajasekhar Reddy’s death

The High Command is in a quandary. I understand from my indefatigable Alphonso that all claimants for the gaddi will have to submit a list of people who solemnly assert under oath before a magistrate that they will commit suicide if the ‘neta’ is not made the CM. or if the neta dies whichever is earlier.

Andhra being a high tech state all applicants can file their applications online at www.mysuicide.com.

K.R.RAVI
USA